X and I had a fight of epic proportions with Dominion Fertility and Dr. Dimattina as a result of Catheter-gate. It seems that they take no responsibility or show no remorse for forcing a catheter in me against my will for something that was not a life or death matter. As a patient in America, I believe we still have the right to refuse certain treatments if it isn’t life or death or if our refusal of treatment doesn’t impact the health of others around us.

Dr. Dimattina’s response to X was “We find that when the bladder is punctured that women are more comfortable to pee pee with a catheter in.” (yes, he said “pee pee.”) X said, “But she didn’t want a catheter, she told you she didn’t want one, and if you thought she was too drugged up, I was in the next room and no one came and asked me either.”

No response from Dr. Dimattina. Now I know why the message boards I’ve found are filled with notes calling him Dr. Dimadouchebag. It goes without saying that we have parted ways with the fucking losers at Dominion Fertility because, well, the last time I checked, my body belongs to me.  I wasn’t making demands about the science part, about what to do in the lab or how to retrieve the egg. I am happy to leave that stuff to the experts. I was merely saying that I didn’t want a catheter, would rather take my chances without one, or that I would rather see a urologist than have an ob/gyn do this to me. Shit, do you ask your dentist to check an ingrown toenail? No. That’s because it’s not his area of expertise. Same here, Dr. Dimattina. You are not a urologist. You were over your head on this. In fact, when I went to see a urologist to ensure there was no damage, he said that it’s not really customary to catheter someone for a puncture, you can check with a sonogram to see what happened.

There was also no response for why he employs a nurse who is so stupid that she doesn’t know that a catheter has an inflated ball inside the bladder, so when she was pulling and pulling, she was causing me excrutiating pain. I hope anyone who plans to go to Dominion knows that not only do they NOT CARE about what your wishes are, they don’t have trained nurses there either.

Many many many of you recommended we contact a lawyer. But here’s the tricky part with lawyers: They want damages. They want you to have permanent disabling damage so they can sue for millions and so that they get their 30% or 40% cut. Thank the heavens I don’t have bladder damage because honestly, that’s about the one thing I probably wouldn’t be able to live with. I prefer peeing and pooping without pain, and I prefer doing those things into toilets (occasionally the side of the road when I have too many Big Gulps) and I definitely don’t want to do those things in bags.

When X and I were in the car the other day, we were talking about how ridiculous Dimattina’s reaction was, X said, “It’s like he’s running scared from something. He was wrong. Why doesn’t he just admit it and we could all move on?”

Ding ding ding. No more calls, I think we have a winner. Headed off to Google.

Here it is ladies and gents. The lawsuit that was keeping Dr. Dimattina busy at the time I was enduring IVF at his practice, and at his hands. I had to dig into Google, but I found the court records, and he was out of the practice for the two weeks after my procedure so he could participate in his jury trial.

I’m not sure what he did to that patient, but I can only surmise that it was a direct result of his approach to care, which is, “I’ll do what I want and you have to take it.”

We have switched doctors (again) since it seems finding competency is nearly impossible. In an interesting twist of fate, after we had the consultation with the doctor he put us in a conference room and told us to wait for the coordinator to come explain everything to us. He shut the door and called her on the phone from his office, but for some reason, we could hear everything through the wall. I mean, everything, down to what she was saying on the other end of the phone. When our new doctor got to the part about “Then they went to Dominion and did a Natural Cycle IVF” you could hear the nurse laughing LOUDLY. Maybe we dodged a bullet?

When the nurse/coordinator came in to meet with us, we couldn’t resist asking her. She apologized that we heard her laugh but we said that we actually wanted to hear more. From what I can surmise from message boards, Dominion sells people on the Natural Cycle IVF through price and not using meds, and it doesn’t work. Woman after woman was posting to various fertility message boards saying they did 3 or 4 cycles and it didn’t work and they went back to fully stimulated IVF. The nurse basically said that is their exact position. It works for some people, but the odds aren’t good enough to be selling it as a solution. And they said that is what Dominon does, they play on the fears of people have of meds and costs and steer them to something that may or may not work.

Maybe we just saved ourselves another $10,000. Though I would much rather it wasn’t at the cost of the trauma I endured.