Has something ever happened to you that is just so weird that you can’t believe it happened even though you were there for the whole thing?

Yeah. That.

In 1998, I was working at this company in Connecticut that designed labels for private label foods. So if you bought “Safeway brand canned Green Beans” then we would have made that label. I was in the Procurement Department, so people would fax or call in their orders (shut. up. it was 1998) and I would place the order and ship the labels. It was a snooze-festival, but one thing stands out from all those years ago. One of the distributors (a vegetable cannery) was cited for unsanitary conditions and we were under orders to not send them any labels. The girl from the cannery, Michelle, kept calling and I kept saying “We can’t ship you any labels.” It turned into a rather large problem as she took to faxing everyone in our company and made it look like I wasn’t doing my job. Bitch neglected to tell people she was 2 inches from being shut down.

Now here we are in 2011. In 2008 I bought that little house in Delaware near the beach. We have all this drama with our Developer, and that sort of had me doing a tag team of google searches. I actually talked to the Mayor of our town on the phone the other day, and it got me wondering what his deal was. I mean, who gets to talk to a Mayor? His cell phone number is on the damn town website which is so funny to me. So google took me on a tour of places, until I landed on minutes for a meeting held in 2000, about the very piece of land on which my house sits. Well, my house sits there with 150 other houses, but, still. And the report is filled with information about how the land was formerly a cannery that was shut down, blah blah blah, and I’m sure you see where this is going. I literally almost shit myself when they named the cannery. I now own a house on the very land where poor Michelle kept calling from, begging for labels and trying to get me in trouble with my boss.

Man that shit freaks me out. It’s like “The Celestine Prophecy” where they say there are no coincidences.