Totally off topic today.

Dear Alan Greenspan:

You are an asshole. You kept interest rates WAY TOO LOW for WAY TOO LONG, in an effort to keep the housing market going. You manipulated an entire industry to prop up the rest of the U.S. Economy. Thanks a lot. Many people who had NO BUSINESS buying houses are now in homes that they can’t afford. People are filing bankruptcy, consumer debt is at an all time high, the foreclosures are starting, and you’ve retired. Nice job.

Guess what? Where you created “opportunity” you also created leeches. Investors flooded this market and basically ruined it. Never mind that they bought tons of homes that they planned to flip, but they skewed all the marketing data with their demographics, and threw a monkey wrench into the entire system. The housing industry couldn’t keep up with this demand - the abnormally low rates robbed demand from what could have been a steady future. All the homebuilders packed in the bodies, and everyone worked like dogs.

Now guess what? While you’re enjoying your retirement, every single public national homebuilder is freaking out. They are getting contract cancellations left and right. They are refunding deposits based on technicalities and threats of lawsuits. They are whispering about layoffs. And the people on the outside don’t know this, but a large portion of those in the homebuilding industry are about to hit the pavement looking for jobs. Thank you so much, for you’ve done wonders for our economy. Lower rates so that the rich can get richer, put the housing price out of the average man’s reach and all the rich left the market. Now the rest of the average men, working in homebuilding are about to be out of jobs.

I sincerely hope you are enjoying your retirement. I hope that while you are sipping your Pina Colada, you don’t choke on a pineapple or a cocktail umbrella. Because that would be a shame.